Riding the Edge

This sex positive story excerpt from Legendary Lover by Helena Nista is published with permission.

Sexual Health>10 mins
Helena Nista explains edging

Many people do not know that there is a secret to mind-blowing, spectacular, amazing, deeply satisfying orgasms. It allows you to not only consistently reach this level of ecstatic pleasure yourself but to also give this kind of experience to your partner. This secret is called ‘edging’.

My very first experience with edging took me into an orgasmic state that went way beyond my own body.

As my erotic energy exploded in a deeply intense climax, my whole being started to vibrate and buzz in a full-body ecstasy.

My body did not feel physical anymore. I could not even feel the mattress below me. I was just pure energy pulsating in bliss, expanding out into the Universe, connecting with all beings, nature and worlds out there. It felt like a trance; my mind was free of thought, completely immersed in the experience. I completely lost track of time and have no idea how long I stayed there. There was no time in that place.

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Since then I have taught this technique to thousands of people in person and online.

The feedback I get is consistent and inspiring – edging rocks!

When you edge on your own, you are going to start your selfpleasuring practice as usual and in any way you choose. The more present you are the better this will work, but even if you choose to initially opt for porn or fantasy, that is still ok. Try to remain present enough to monitor your level of arousal—this is important! Think of a scale of one to ten where one is not aroused at all and ten is ejaculation.

Keep naming your level of arousal from moment to moment; it will help you stay aware of your level of excitement and proximity to orgasm.

Be mindful of your ‘point of no return’!

It is located at around level eight and as soon as you get there, your ejaculatory response will be triggered. Make sure to remain at level six or seven at most.

As soon as you reach six or seven, stop all touch, relax your body and take about ten deep breaths. If you wish, you can also add a kegel on each inhale. Kegels consist of squeezing your pelvic floor muscle, the same muscle that you use to stop the stream of urine midstream.

Make sure to squeeze it on the inhale and relax it on the exhale. You will start to notice your level of excitement going down a bit. You might even start to notice tingles, shivers and other gentle sensations spreading through your body.

Whenever you are ready, you can resume touch and stimulation, bringing yourself up to level six or seven again. At that point you are going to stop again and repeat the breathing and the kegels. Keep going until you have brought yourself up and down about five times.

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At that stage you should be experiencing vibrations and pleasure all over your body.

As you resume stimulation again, finally allow yourself to reach an orgasm. Be prepared! This experience will feel very different to what you used to call ‘orgasm’ before!

Sex and mathematics

The secret behind this technique lies in simple maths—the more sexual energy you stimulate and move through your body, the more spectacular its release will be at the end. Imagine pouring water into a bucket. If you only spend a moment doing it before tipping the contents out, the splash will not be too impressive. But if you take your time and fill the bucket up to the edge, the contents will spill with an appropriate level of noise and intensity.

But that is not the end of it—as you use your breath to guide your arousal out of your genitals and into the rest of your body, some of that erotic charge will stay in your body even after the orgasm, allowing you to feel energized and refreshed, instead of drained and tired.

As you can see, remaining very aware of your level of excitement during this practice is of utmost importance and training yourself to use the scale of arousal will serve you well. Many men ejaculate early simply because they are not aware of just how aroused they are. I am sure you can recall many cases when the moment of release surprised you and maybe even disappointed you as you were keen to last longer.

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This technique will begin to train your body to ride the waves of sexual pleasure for as long as you want. The moment of ejaculation will become your choice and never a premature surprise.

Edging is a little more tricky when performed on a partner, and requires good communication skills.

LEGENDARY LOVER

When edging with a lover, ask her to signal to you the moment that she is close to coming. She can say something or even tap you on the shoulder. At that stage you will stop the stimulation and guide her to relax and to use breath and kegels to move her erotic energy away from her genitals. After about ten breaths, you can resume the stimulation and so on until you finally allow her to orgasm.

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Want to read more? You can buy Legendary Lover here.

Helena Nista is  a certified sex therapist, somatic counsellor and Tantra practitioner. She is a mentor, author, speaker and lover.

She is passionate about helping her clients become the best lovers they can possibly be, overcome any sexual difficulties and create amazing sex lives.

You follow her on Instagram and see her courses here.

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